False Alarm or a Fire?

Last month, we talked about suffering and the importance of paying attention to our internal smoke alarms, rather than taking the batteries out and numbing ourselves to the information our body is trying to communicate. This month, I want to talk about how to know whether your internal alarm is a false alarm or is alerting you to an actual fire. 

Anytime we experience something traumatic – which can be defined as anything that was physically, psychologically, or emotionally overwhelming – it increases the sensitivity of our internal smoke detectors. Our bodies are hard-wired for survival, so if something hurt us in the past, we’re going to be on high alert for anything similar moving forward in order to keep ourselves safe. This could include everything from a car crash, to bullying, to the incredibly high expectations of our parents we never felt we were able to fully meet as a child. All of this is stored in our bodies as DANGER. 

Our reptilian brain (i.e. our brain stem and nervous system) is constantly scanning our environment and subconsciously processing ~130k bits of information in any given second, on the lookout for potential danger. This information is being processed and then communicated to us through sensations in our bodies (i.e. a quickening heart rate, sweaty palms, a knot in our stomach, the inability to take a deep breath, etc). 

When we haven’t fully processed and released past traumatic experiences, we remain on perpetual high alert for anything or anyone that looks similar to whatever hurt or overwhelmed us in the past. For example, if you once got laid off unexpectedly, a lack of enough positive validation from your manager or whispers of a potential reorg could lead to blaring alarm bells, even when you’re over-performing in your current role and there’s no real threat to your job. 

Unprocessed trauma increases the sensitivity of our smoke detectors, causing them to blare when there’s no actual fire. A little smoke from a pan of food safely sizzling on the stovetop begins to register as danger. And when our internal alarms are too frequent or faulty, it’s no wonder we often take the batteries out! We either dissociate from our sensing bodies and live in our heads, or use coping mechanisms to dull the pain and discomfort of the near constant noise.  

In order to recalibrate our smoke detectors to the appropriate level of sensitivity, we’ve got to actually HEAL from our past trauma. Somatic work, which is one of my primary focuses as a coach, helps to regulate our nervous systems so that we no longer scan the environment for look-alike “dangers” of the past. We’re able to distinguish between what was then and what poses an actual threat to us now. We’re able to give our body a felt sense of safety from these past experiences so that we can trust that when the smoke alarm goes off, it is in fact alerting us to real and present danger.

When our nervous system is regulated, we’re able to trust our bodies and ourselves. We’re able to leverage our gut feelings and intuition to make better decisions. We're able to act from our highest self, rather than reacting from the protective parts trying to keep us safe. We’re able to process the sensorial information our bodies are providing us and listen when we need a break, rather than pushing through to the point of burnout, overwhelm, and depression. We’re able to focus our energy on creating the life we truly desire, rather than wasting so much of it trying to keep ourselves "safe."

So, is it time to recalibrate your smoke alarm?

With you on the journey,

Emma x